This Is A Poop Song
Cutesy nicknames have always boggled my mind. When people would date and call each other goofy nicknames, I would have to keep myself from barfing all over them. Now, let me stress that I have no problems whatsoever with regular nicknames. I nickname people all the time. For example, Chase is “Slutty McWhoreyface”, Karl is “Loverdoodle”, Hilly is “Hillylicious”, and Nicole is “Sexy Butterbean”. See, those are fun nicknames for two reasons: a)I don’t actually call them any of those names and b)I’d like to.
For some reason it used to sicken me to even think of someone giving me a cutesy nickname. It reminded of that guy I hooked up with when I was nineteen who thought baby talk was a turn on. This was before “Sex In The City” warned men everywhere that baby talk=no booty.
The closest I ever came to a nickname when I was dating someone was Wolf when we were still bitty teens. I called him “hun” once. When he looked at me like his eyes were going to burst from his head, I recanted and said that I said he was “fun”.
Jason, on the other hand, has forced me to give up this cutesy nickname ban. He is the KING of cutesy nicknames. He also doesn’t know how to keep these nicknames private. For example, for a while my name was “Debbie Snugglebunny”(appropriate because I do like to snuggle and have teeth like a bunny). He put my nickname in his email so everyone that got mass emails from him also saw that he sent email to a “Debbie Snugglebunny”. I was horrified. People teased him and he laughed it off. I, on the other hand, was being called “Snugglebunny” by strangers. Wasn’t so funny to someone who was opposed to cutesy nicknames.
As the years passed, our nicknames have changed but Jason has been fabulous about keeping those names under wraps. Recently though, he has been slipping again. So much so, that I am willing to tell you our nicknames on here because, frankly, you are the only people who don’t know. Since we have been engaged, we call each other “Mr Poops” and “Mrs Poops”.
The nicknames have nothing to do with how much we in fact “poop”. A couple of years ago, my friend, Lila started calling people “pups”. I thought it was cute but one day I called someone “pups” and they said “did you just call me Poops?”. I thought it was funny so I said yes. It caught on. So I started calling people completely inappropriate versions of feces. When Jason and I got engaged, he started calling me “Mrs”. Somewhere “Poops” worked it’s way in.
Jason has now leaked it to the public. The first time was when we were traveling across the country. I started to notice that when we ordered at a restaurant, he would say “Go ahead, Mrs Poops” in front of the waitress. Whatever. People I didn’t know knew our cutesy secret, so what. Then we were staying with our friends in North Carolina, we were eating dinner and all of a sudden I heard, much to my embarrassment, “Can you pass the chicken, Mrs Poops?”. Both of our friends didn’t stop laughing for 10 mins. They now also call me “Mrs Poops”. He throws it around everywhere. My parents call me “Mrs Poops”, I’m surprised the dog doesn’t call me “Mrs What I do in the living room when you aren’t in the house”.
So there it is. Mrs Poops. That’s me.
*You may have noticed that this is, in fact, not a poop song. If you don’t watch The Sarah Silverman Program then you don’t get it. You really should get it so you should watch The Sarah Silverman Program. And no, I am not working for The Sarah Silverman Program because they banned me for stalking her and asking her to have my babies.
Chase Says:
Slutty McWhoreyface sounds quite nice. I think you should name your first born that. You know, after me…the one you love.
The Boyfriend and I have a few nicknames for each other, but nothing too cutesy-gross. Honey, baby, babe, that sort of thing. Though I do call him Bullfrog sometimes (as in Jeremiah was a bullfrog…since his name is Jeremy…anyway). And sweetums, which is KINDA cutesy-gross.
BTW, I love that you’re posting again. I’ve missed you, Skanky McWhoreslut.
Hillylicious Says:
I love my nickname. I have a tendency to give people nicknames too….all of the time.
I call you Plunkity Plinkity Plink….I have no idea why!
Karl Says:
Huh, I call you ChickEyeWannaDo.
Nicole Says:
See, now here is the problem. I do in fact, have a nickname and it does in fact have the word “poop” in it. Where in the world did you pull Sexy Butterbean from? I’ll tell you. The place on your body where poop comes from.
I have nicknames for every person I’ve ever dated. Cause I’m awesome like that.
Oh and PS? Yes, I sure do have Stacey Q on my myspace. That song was awesome.
BlondeBlogger Says:
Now I want a nickname! LOL I love your nicknames with Jason….too cute!