I Can’t Breathe or at least I believe I can’t most of the time
This last week has been BRUTAL. I have been trying to get “back to normal” but it’s been a struggle. I went back to work Monday. Work went a little something like this:
11am: Stumble into office an hour late due to waking at 5:30am to take steroids and falling back to sleep somewhere around 7. Then not being able to drag my ass out of bed until 9:30am.
11:30am: Call in co worker to “talk to me” because I just ate some hot cereal that I may or may not be deathly allergic to. Please note Epi Pen was in hand whole time.
12pm: Stupid computer isn’t downloading correctly and IT people are busy busy busy, so while on hold I research how many things I could be allergic to and how many people die from anaphylactic shock.
1pm: Stupid computer thingy STILL isn’t downloading correctly so I start to think about what the hell is safe to eat for lunch.
1:15pm: Can’t do shit because computer has rendered my job useless which is lovely because now I have more time to OBSESS over what I am going to eat for lunch. Yay.
2pm: Order out Thai Chicken Yellow Curry. Of course, perfectly logical considering Thai dishes are famous for nut dishes.
2:01pm: Proceed to have 2nd panic attack of the day. Luckily someone in the office has had them before and I was able to calm down.
My computer finally started to be able to download those damn TPS reports or whatever so I could concentrate on work until I had to go home.
I would take any amount of pain in the world to get rid of these things. I can’t imagine how some people around me have dealt with them their whole lives. I thank god mine didn’t start until I was 28.
It’s not really a comfort though….when they are consuming me.
Karl Says:
Wow, I can relate to the panic attacks but thankfully not the food allergies. Tell me you’re not allergic to me, or my life might as well be finished!
Chase Says:
Please tell me you’ve talked to your therapist lately - you don’t want to get back to that place again. Love you. Call me if you’re freaking out. *smooch*
Nicole Says:
I’m so glad I’m not the only one with issues… 1. I don’t care about your downloads. They’ll get in when they get in. 2. Call me in regard to panic attacks - I’m awesome. 3. Did I mention that you should talk to me about crazy thinking because I’m awesome like that? Take a deep breath kiddo, just take it easy today and if nothing else, maybe James can shoot you going into shock and having SURGERY that will SAVE YOUR LIFE. Yep, I’m a thinker!
Mr. Fabulous Says:
I’m allergic to Karl, and it has caused nothing but trouble for me.
Feel better soon, my friend.
Hilly Says:
When I first got them, I was around 28 too and lived with it for about 3 years then went off meds. Unfortunately now that I am dealing with fixing a lot of issues, they are back but minimally AND I know how to handle them. Talk to your doctor about pills, seriously and if what you are taking now is not working, tell the doc that too! It takes 300 mgs of Wllbutrin, 30 mgs of Buspar and 100 mgs of Trazedone at night for me to remain in control; some times in our lives are worse than others but continue meds and therapy…..if you want to talk about this at all privately, enmail me!
Hilly Says:
enmail = email
My damned allergies to Karl made me do the typo!
Bec Says:
I had my first panic attack at 14… The whole thought prcess involved me believing that was it, I was going to die and then falling over and freaking my friends out a whole lot. I’m not saying you ever get used to them… but at least you know you won’t die.
And I live in the UK where they don’t believe in pills or therapy - my docs whole advice was just to ‘relax’ - he relaxed plenty when I ripped him noggin off!