The Ex and Nostalgia
My Friend Leanne called today to let me know she ran into a girl that knew someone I “dated” in college. I put “dated” in quotes because frankly, Boston Market should never count as a date. Never. Anyway, so this guy I “dated” was one of my longer ones, two months. Oh, but we did have that month off for Christmas break soooo maybe that is why I didn’t get bored. Plus he was in a fraternity and I was pledging(um, yeah, you can all STFU right now, k?), back then I thought that I was cool because I was dating a fraternity guy. Even if he did kind of look like a slightly taller version of an ompa lumpa. Seriously, stop laughing. You were stupid when you were younger too. Jesus.
So yeah, this guy. Oy. Memories just came a floodin back and I had to go down that road with them. First of all, he was not attractive. Let’s get that right out there. I never really went for that anyway though. I went for talent or sense of humor, intelligence…he didn’t really have much of those either. Hmm. I guess he was just fun. He was fun to be around most of the time. After we stopped dating, we became friends. We were better as friends, so I thought about how much fun we would have at his parties and my sorority formal. Good times.
THEN I remembered that he caused me to have one of the most humiliating moments in my life. Really, at the time, it was horrible, like I don’t know if I can ever show my face horrible. Sorority girl drama central. Oy.
It was my junior year. My friend Leanne and I were living in the dorms as the next semester we were to transfer to UNCW for the last half of the year. I had a job at the student union at their “Information Desk”. It happened that I was there Sunday nights when the fraternities held their meetings(oh no, totally didn’t plead and beg for that time slot, not at all). Anyway, there I was minding my own info desk business when the Ex sidles up to my desk with a huge smile on his face. He tells me that his room mate just broke up with his girlfriend and thinks I am cute. Um, the room mate was actually attractive AND played guitar which I was totally into. Ok, ok, I think “how nice of the Ex hooking me up” and tell him to let Mr. Cutey Guitar Playin Roomie give me a call.
That evening I am on my way home when I catch my friend, Becca(that’s what we will call her anyway), walking back from her aerobics class. We get to talking and she tells me that she heard Mr. Cutey Guitar Playin Roomie is interested in her, thinks she is “gorgeous”. Now I have to say, Becca was gorgeous. There was no denying that. She was tiny with these huge perfect boobs. Not only that but so nice and sweet. At that moment, my heart sank. I thought it was a nice ego boost at least but clearly he’s going to go for Becca. Becca must’ve sensed my change in mood. “What’s up?” she asks. I tell her that I heard he was interested in me too. She said “Oh Debbie, I don’t think he is cute AT ALL. He’s not my type. I am so excited for you though, he seems really nice!”. Yeah, so perky huge boobies didn’t want him, I was thrilled. Maybe I would find someone at this school that I actually liked for more than one drunken evening!
Flash to the next night. I get a phone call from none other than Mr. Cutey Guitar Playin Roomie! Ok, now, I am 20 years old at this point AND in a sorority, my ass is giggling and drinkin Boones Farm the whole time I am talking to him. He then asks me to come into Philadelphia to hang posters for his band. Um, he’s taking me off campus, in a car, I was there. Long story short, the night was fun and interesting for a 20 year old blah blah. At the end of the night, I ask him to my sorority formal that is coming up. He tells me he can’t because he’s going to a friend’s formal that night. Sorry. Ok, that was ok because I knew the friend he was talking about and it was all good. I sat patiently waiting for him to ask me to his. He didn’t. Ok, ok, that was ok because it was the first night we really ever hung out more than 5 mins so no big deal. No big deal. He kisses me at the end of the night and I get the requisite “I’ll call you” and I really felt good about it.
Next night, we have a party at another fraternity house. I am walking with Leanne and my perky huge boobed friend Becca bounds up to us with a smile as big as her boobs. She looks at me and excitedly asks “Guess what???”. I say “What?”(having no idea of the horror that is coming my way). “I’m going to the XXY fraternity formal with Mr. Cutey Guitar Playin Roomie!!!!” she exclaims as if she has won a god damned Oscar. I look at her stunned. “I thought you didn’t like him. He wasn’t cute, he wasn’t your type”. She says “Well, he’s not but I thought he seems so nice I should at least give him a chance”. I ran up the steps and into a small room. Leanne just stood in front of me, not knowing what to say or do. I looked at her and said “I was out with him last night. Last fucking night. He kissed me and then asked her to his formal when he got home from OUR date. Holy shit.”
Now, folks, I was drunk. I was a drunk 20 year old sorority girl with a flair for the dramatic. We then went home and did what NO ONE should ever do in this already too humiliating situation. We called him. We got the Ex first who was giggling when he heard my drunken enraged tone and handed the phone quickly to the now branded “Mr Asshole Cutey Guiter Player From Hell” or MACGPFH. I was mostly sobbing and yelling. Leanne called him the names and got actual words out of her mouth. The words were mostly used by truckers and whores at 3am after a crack binge but they were words.
I woke the next morning and I remember thinking how my life was over. That I was going to have to drop out of school. Everyone was going to know how Becca got picked over me and how I had handled it. The funny part was that Becca never knew about that date he went on the night he asked her to his formal. Also, the Ex nor MACGPFH breathed a word of what I did because he didn’t want her to know about me. So, he and I got a reprieve from being in the greek rumor mill. All was well, except for that HUGE GASH on my ego that took a little more time to get over. I felt like shit to have been picked over and what was even worse is I felt the Ex did it on purpose. Like he knew that MACGPFH would pick Becca and leave me looking and feeling like a big loser.
Then I realized. I had hooked up with his former room mate that previous summer. That roomie and him couldn’t stand each other. I still believe that he helped humiliate me on purpose or at least got a lot of joy out of seeing me look like a fool. That bastard. Good times. College was fun wasn’t it?
By the way, Becca and MACGPFH fell in love and dated for 3 years. Who was I stand in the way of love?
Chase Says:
ROFL!!
Just telling that story, your inner sorority girl came out. I could almost hear you getting snootier. Hheheh!
What a sucky thing to do. That turd. Did you kick him in the nards?
3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) Says:
*giggling* GREAT story Deb! Sorry it happened to you that way, but damn it made for a great story! Thanks for sharing it.
3T
Ananke Says:
Oh, he so deserved a good, swift kick where it counts! What an asshole!!!! Don’t feel bad, if I’d been a drunk 20-year-old who got picked over, I’d have done the same thing.
Dawn (webmiztris) Says:
lol - great story! and what a jerk! I didn’t go to a 4-year college, so I missed out on all that good stuff.
maggie Says:
We all have these horrible moments of drunken blubbery. You did fine! Hope the Ex came down wit a serious case of acne after that one.
Janet Says:
You know what I give you credit for? Above everything else? Remembering all the details of this story in the first place.:)
jane Says:
Oh my gosh you had me laughing. We’ve all got those quirky moments when we wish we could’ve crawled under a rock. I bet the ex did it to get even too.
ABlondeBlogger Says:
Oh what a complete jerk-off! Sounds like a typical frat guy (though I married a frat guy, lol)
Your story reminds me of the time I was humiliated (I humiliated myself) in front of a fraternity with a guy that was totally hot and that I really wanted to impress.
It was just me and him on the front steps, and I farted. Yes, I farted.
But it only gets worse. I said, “Excuse me.”
And he ignored me.
So I made it even WORSE. I said, “I know you heard it.”
ROFLMFAO!!! He said something like, “I was trying to pretend I didn’t.”
Believe it or not, he did actually still call me after that and we dated for a short while. I don’t know how I pulled that off!
Deb_LA Says:
Chase-I didn’t but I should have. That bastard.
Thanks 3T. I had a bit of a icky feeling in my stomach telling it remembering how truly embarrassing it was.
Ananke-you know, I think I reacted the way any 20 year old would too. It sucked being made to feel like you were less than someone else. I actually felt a lot better when they fell in love. I was like “well, fate rejected me, not him then”.
Oh Dawn, you missed out on embarassing the crap out of yourself on a nightly basis? I’m so sad for you.
Maggie-better. God already played his joke on him. He had the world’s smallest penis.
Janet-ohhh well, actually I can’t take credit for that. I’ve kept a journal for forever. Got alot of it from there.
Jane-I really hope he did it to get back and wasn’t just a terrible human being.
Dawn2-LMAO!!! No way!!! Oh my god. I can’t stop laughing…..
Bec Says:
Oh, the drama, drama, drama of the uni years! How I miss them!